“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” ~Dale Carnegie
I have been thinking a lot lately about confidence.
Confidence is something I always had growing up - confidence in my abilities, confidence in myself and confidence in my actions. But, somewhere along the way, I seemed to have lost it.
I think gaining weight had a lot to do with it - not because I was fat or unattractive, but because I wasn't myself. Everyone could see it and often pointed out - they said that I was meeker, milder and more quiet. I had retreated in, not feeling understood. I hated being told that I looked "different" or being asked if I was pregnant or that "I would never have recognized you." I was usually fine with the weight that I had put on, but to be told that I didn't look like me was not okay. All of a sudden, I began to not feel like me either. I wallowed in that for a few years, fluctuating in weight, not feeling like myself, trying to rediscover myself only to realize that I wasn't that same person anymore - so then trying to figure out who the new person I has become was - then being hit with the fact that my body wasn't really my body but instead something food had taken over - I had no idea what my body was really like since it was always fighting something. It was just one blow after another. I feared I'd never lose the weight, that I wouldn't ever be myself again and I had no confidence in myself. All that doubt lead to more inaction - more wallowing in my own self pity and laziness - which, not surprisingly, didn't help!
Recently, however, I have begun to have more confidence in myself. I am learning that I am strong, determined and smart. I have confidence in the new lifestyle that I have begun, I am confident in the choices I make and I am beginning to have more confidence in my body. After reading this moving story, I decided that it was time to stop putting off doing/buying things until I have my "better" body. I bought a couple new, beautiful, pieces to add to my wardrobe - splurged a bit on a few pieces of jewelry and decided not to wait anymore for a skinnier body to get some feel-good clothes. And, they are in my newest style - vintagey, feminine pieces. It's not about waiting and longing for the body that I had and want again, but instead about celebrating the body that I have now - a curvy, womanly, comfy body. After all, Real Women Have Curves.
Now, all this is not to say that I'm giving up hope on a skinner body - but I'm not focusing or obsessing over it, either. My main goal is to be healthy, and if getting skinny comes as a result of that - then so be it - if not, then I will survive! I am taking actions to be a healthier person - I'm moving around/exercising more, I'm trying to eat more fruits and vegetables while eating less sweets and I'm just trying to take care of me. I know these actions will only further help my confidence and before you know it, it will no longer be a conscious effort, but instead, a result of my routine actions!
So, what have you been putting off? What do YOU want to do? Well, go out and get busy doing it! :)